LIFE 101
Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life In School -- But Didn't

PART FIVE
TOOLS FOR SUCCESSFUL DOERS<

TO HAVE JOY AND TO HAVE IT MORE ABUNDANTLY

Gladness of the heart is the life of a man, and the joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days.

ECCLESIASTICUS 30:22

Don't just increase joy by a little. Double it. Then, double that. Discover that your capacity to know joy is as limitless as joy itself.

As limitless as you.

Grow Up!

The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up.

G. K. CHESTERTON
1904

I'm not talking about childlike qualities--joy, playfulness, spontaneity. I'm talking about childish traits--spoiled, infantile, inconsiderate.

This sort of immaturity hurts and offends not just those around us; it hurts and offends us. Even while we're doing it, we know, "This isn't right." Even through the anger, fear, and separation, we know, "This isn't necessary."

And it's not. It's time to mature, to ripen, to grow up.

Heal the Past

I don't have a warm personal enemy left. They've all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me.

CLAIRE BOOTH LUCE

One technique is to go into your sanctuary (remembering to let the light at your entryway surround, fill, protect, bless, and heal you for your highest good), sit in front of the video screen, and, on the screen, watch the memory that is causing the pain. The "halo" around the screen is dark. Let the memory play itself out. (If the images are difficult, you might ask your Master Teacher to join you. Master Teachers are great for holding hands, giving comfort, and instilling courage.)

Then let the image fade. Let the white light around the screen glow brightly. Then see the same scene the way you wanted it to be. What do you wish had happened? See it. What do you wish you had said? Hear yourself saying it. How do you wish others had responded? See them responding that way. What would you like to have felt? Feel that.

Replacing a negative memory with a positive one heals it.

You can also use your health center. Perhaps there is a special memory-healing device or magic elixir or a master with a touch that heals. Whatever you wish medical science had that would heal the past, imagine it in your health center, and use it.

If the hurt involves other people, you can invite them into your sanctuary. Under the guidance and protection of your Master Teacher, you can tell them whatever it is you want them to know, forgive them (and yourself), and let them go into that pure, white light of the people mover.

There's no need to dwell on the past, remembering every little painful detail and then healing it. Just heal what surfaces on its own, and move on with your life--your present.

Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.

W. R. INGE DEAN OF ST. PAUL'S, LONDON

Memory, the priestess, kills the present and offers its heart on the shrine of the dead past.

RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Health

Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing--peace is the measure.

GEORGE MELTON

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say.

W. H. AUDEN

By always focusing on eliminating illness, few of us learn how to enhance health--or even that enhancing health is possible. It is.

You don't have to be sick to get better.

Health is not just for the body. Health includes the mind, the emotions, the whole person. Health is the amount of vibrant, peaceful, loving energy flowing through your being. The more energy, the greater the health.

Let that energy flow in you, through you.

Health is not heavy. Health is light work.

For Giving

God may forgive you, but I never can.

ELIZABETH I
1533-1603

When you forgive another, to whom do you give? The other? Sometimes. Yourself? Always. To forgive another is being in favor of giving to yourself.

In addition, most of us judge ourselves more harshly and more often than we judge others. It's important to forgive ourselves for all the things we hold against ourselves.

There is a third judgment to forgive: the fact that we judged in the first place. When we judge, we leave our happiness behind--sometimes way behind. We know this, and we judge ourselves for having judged.

The layers of forgiveness, then, are: first, the person we judged (ourselves or another); and, second, ourselves for having judged in the first place.

The technique? Simple.

Say to yourself, "I forgive ________________ (NAME OF THE PERSON, PLACE, OR THING YOU JUDGED, INCLUDING YOURSELF) for _______________ (THE `TRANSGRESSION'). I forgive myself for judging _______________ (SAME PERSON, PLACE, OR THING, INCLUDING YOURSELF) for ______________ (WHAT YOU JUDGED)."

That's it. Simple, but amazingly effective. You can say it out loud, or say it to yourself.

If you have a lot to forgive one person for, you might want to invite that person into your sanctuary and forgive the person there. (Ask your Master Teacher to come along, if you like.)

That's all there is to forgiveness. Simple but powerful. How powerful? Try it for five minutes. See what happens.

Of course God will forgive me; that's his business.

HEINRICH HEINE LAST WORDS 1856

The American public would forgive me anything except running off with Eddie Fisher.

JACQUELINE KENNEDY 1964

For Getting

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

B. F. SKINNER

What's the value in forgetting? It's all in the word: for getting--to be in favor of getting, of receiving.

We sometimes think that shaking a fist (threateningly, with all the remembered transgressions) is the way to get something. A shaking fist tends to beget a shaking (or swinging) fist.

To receive, for give. To get, for get.

Remembering a grievance locks you into remembering hurt, pain, anger, betrayal, and disappointment. Who on earth wants that? Let it go. For give it away. Then for get something new and better (light-er) in its place.

Heal the memories. Forgive the past. Then forget it. Let it go. It is not worth remembering. None of it's worth remembering. What's worth experiencing is the joy of this moment.

To get it, for get.

Parents

The children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them--thus preserving the system.

QUENTIN CREWE

It may seem that I have been harsh on parents in this book. When explaining why we feel unworthy, think negatively, or aren't happy, I often returned to the childhood, and there loomed Mom and Dad.

Yes, I am guilty of that, and I now make my amends with these thoughts:

1. Your childhood is over. You are now in charge of your life. You can't blame the past--or anyone in it--for what you do today . Even if you can formulate a convincing argument to the contrary, it does you no good. Your childhood is gone. It's past.

   Blaming the past is like blaming gravity for the glass you broke. Yes, without gravity, the glass would not have fallen. But you know about gravity and you know about glasses and you know what happens when you combine gravity, a falling glass, and a hard surface.

   Your childhood is like gravity. It was what it was. Your life today is like the glass. Handle it with care. If it breaks, clean up the mess, and get another glass (your life tomorrow) from the cupboard.

2. Your parents did the best they could with what they knew. Like you, your parents weren't given an instruction manual for life. They had to learn it as they went along. They had to learn how to make a living, run a home, get along with each other, and raise a baby (you) all at the same time. No easy task. Along the way, they made lots of mistakes. They weren't the perfect parents. But, let's face it, you weren't the perfect child, either.

3. How you turned out is mostly a result of genetics anyway.

4. Your parents gave you the greatest gift of all: Life. Whatever else they did or didn't do, if not for them, you wouldn't be here. They deserve a big thank-you for that.

You don't have to like your parents. But it feels better if you learn to love them.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

MARK TWAIN

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it.

J. D. SALINGER
CATCHER IN THE RYE

Laughter

Laugh. Out loud. Often.

Laughter is inner jogging.

NORMAN COUSINS

Children's TV programming would have to be monitored very carefully. We wouldn't want anyone pushing humor on innocent young minds. "What are you kids doing in there?" "We're drinking beer and smoking cigarettes." "Okay, but no laughing."

Pop Quiz! Which is funniest: