LIFE 101
Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life In School -- But Didn't

PART FIVE
TOOLS FOR SUCCESSFUL DOERS<

It Takes Strength to Be Happy

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

GEORGE BURNS

Happiness is not for wimps.

Happiness requires courage, stamina, persistence, fortitude, perseverance, bravery, boldness, valor, vigor, concentration, solidity, substance, backbone, grit, guts, moxie, nerve, pluck, resilience, spunk, tenacity, tolerance, will power, chutzpah, and a good thesaurus.

If you think happiness is easy, think again. The theory of happiness is simple; so simple, in fact, it can be stated in a parenthesis ("to be happy, think happy thoughts") in the middle of a not-very-long sentence. The successful implementation of that theory--that's where the courage, stamina, etc., come in.

We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, without fearing it.

THOMAS JEFFERSON

THEN WHY THE HELL AREN'T WE HAPPY ALL THE TIME!!??

With the pressures and distractions we've already discussed--the Fight or Flight Response, the inaccurate yet all-pervading feeling of unworthiness, habits, addictions, brain parts that filter out good stuff, heredity, and so on--is it any wonder that thinking happy thoughts takes some strength .

It also takes practice, patience, and discipline. It's not an easy challenge, but when you're through, you'll know you've done your work and done it well. You'll be among the strong, the proud, the few.

Be all that you can be. Join the happy.

Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to.

OSCAR WILDE

You Don't Have to Do Anything

If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

TIMOTHY LEARY

"Have to" implies need, and need is food-shelter-clothing. Everything else is just a "want." Therefore, unless it's doing something to put a scrap of food in your mouth, a few rags on your back, or a temporary roof over your head, you don't have to do it.

All those things you think you have to do, you can tell yourself, "I don't have to __________," and fill in the blank. It's quite liberating. It feels good. Then if you choose to do whatever you declared you don't have to do, that's fine.

You can add, "And what I choose to do, I can do." Because you can.

Hurry Up and Be Patient!

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.

BRIAN ADAMS

You feel so good about life when you're patient. I would suggest that you not delay a moment. Obtain patience at your earliest opportunity. It makes obtaining everything else much easier, and much more fun. And if you don't get all of what you want, that's okay, because you're patient.

Some people like to doctor life--they think they can "fix" it. Life doesn't need a doctor. It's not sick. As KungFucious said, "If you want to doctor life, maybe you need to be patient."

Speaking of doctors, have I told you of all the health problems that can be caused by impatience? Do you know how much stress getting sick causes the body? A lot. People get sick from it. It's best to avoid all that. Your life may depend on how quickly you can get patient.

Not that I want to rush you. Do it in your own time. But hurry.

He ranged his tropes, and preached up patience; Backed his opinion with quotations.

MATTHEW PRIOR
1708

There. Doesn't that feel better? That's the beginning of patience.

I'm extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end.

MARGARET THATCHER

Live Now

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all knowledge is moonshine.

H. L. MENCKEN

Other people spend a lot of time in the future, worrying about this, that, and something else--most of which probably will never come to pass. (F.E.A.R. = False Expectations Appearing Real.)

Some people are bi-timers. They can say "bye" to the present and go zipping off into the past and the future simultaneously.

Getting there isn't half the fun.-- it's all the fun.

ROBERT TOWNSEND

So don't capture it. There's nothing to capture. It's all here--present, although perhaps slightly unaccounted for. There's nothing to struggle with. When you come back from the past or the future, the present will always be here, waiting.

It won't be the same present, of course. As Heraclitus observed around 500 B.C. (talk about the past), "You cannot step twice into the same river; for other waters are always flowing on to you." Thus it is with time.

I still lived in the future--
a habit which is the death of happiness.

QUENTIN CRISP

We are always in the present, no matter what we do, no matter where we "go." If someone insists, "Come present!" tell them, "I was present--with my thoughts. If you do something more interesting than my thoughts, I'll pay attention to you." That should bring them present.

"Live Now." What a strange title for a chapter.

Worthiness

She knows what is the best purpose of education: not to be frightened by the best but to treat it as part of daily life.

JOHN MASON BROWN

People have said, "I don't feel worthy to be alive." But you are alive; therefore you must be worthy. It's very simple: if you're not worth life, you don't have it.

Worthiness is a given. It has nothing to do with action, thoughts, feelings, mind, body, emotions, or anything else. You are worthy of being because you are. Period. End of chapter.

Worthiness, Part Two

So much is a man worth as he esteems himself.

FRANOIS RABELAIS
1532

You're not talking about worthiness. You're talking about self-esteem . If you want to think better about yourself and feel better about yourself, learn to improve your self-esteem.

"How do I improve self-esteem?"

Next chapter.

Self-Esteem

Ofttimes nothing profits more Than self-esteem, grounded on just and right Well managed.

JOHN MILTON 1667

If you were taught that you must be perfect, then your self-esteem might be pretty low--humans are notoriously not perfect. Or, maybe you were taught that everything you do and whatever you do is perfect, in which case, your self-esteem might be pretty high.

Increasing your self-esteem is easy. You simply do good things, and remember that you did them .

Most people already do enough good for some high-level self-esteem. Alas, people tend to forget . They do so much good, most of it's taken for granted and forgotten as soon as it's done.

Make a list of all the good you do. Then review the list. Often. Take note of the often-overlooked good you do. Did you bathe in the past forty-eight hours? Very good. Brush your teeth, too? Terrific. Use deodorant? Excellent. You've done your part in the fight against indoor air pollution. Put those on your list.

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.

SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL

Honestly--you're a pretty decent human being, aren't you? Of course you are. How do I know? Nasty, wicked people don't read books such as this. If they do, they certainly don't get as far as page 442.

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard, let him worry about cutting it.

FRED ALLEN

Meditate, Contemplate, or "Just Sits"

Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.

SATCHEL PAIGE

Whenever you meditate, contemplate, pray, do spiritual exercises, or "just sits," it's good to ask the white light to surround, fill, and protect you, knowing only that which is for your highest good and the highest good of all concerned will take place during your quiet time. You may want to do your meditation in your sanctuary.

Before starting, prepare your physical environment. Arrange not to be disturbed. Unplug the phone. Put a note on the door. Wear ear plugs if noises might distract you. (I like the soft foam-rubber kind sold under such trade names as E.A.R., HUSHER, and DECIDAMP.) Take care of your bodily needs. Have some water nearby if you get thirsty, and maybe some tissues, too.

Contemplation is thinking about something, often something uplifting. You could contemplate any of the hundreds of quotes or ideas in this book. Often, when we hear a new and potentially useful idea, we say, "I'll have to think about that." Contemplation is a good time to "think about that," to consider the truth of it, to imagine the changes and improvements it might make in your life.

Or, you could contemplate a nonverbal object, such as a flower, or a concept, such as God. The idea of contemplation is to set aside a certain amount of quiet time to think about just that, whatever you decide "that" will be.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? DR. ROBERT SCHULLER